My Grass is Green

I don't think a weekend has gone by since Muffin became mobile that I haven't wished for the time and space to linger over coffee and the paper. Coffee that I don't need to put in the center of the table to avoid curious hands. Newspaper that doesn't make a hilarious-to-a-toddler sound when it's crumpled.

This past weekend the Canuck and I went away for our anniversary. Muffin's grandma and aunt flew in to babysit, and we headed off to the North Fork of Long Island to get tipsy at the vineyards, eat two-hour meals in fancy restaurants, swim without inflatable devices and read the paper all we wanted. We had the weekend off from worrying about a nap schedule and where our next kid-appropriate meal would come from, and only had to take care of ourselves, which felt like nothing at all.

And it was great.

But it wasn't that great.

The town we were in had a beautiful old carousel. Muffin's never been on one, and I kept thinking about how exciting it would have been to take her on it. Yet another first in 16 months chock full of firsts. We kept passing the merry-go-round, and I kept wondering what it would be like if she were with us.

When we got home, she was napping, and it seemed like hours until she woke up. When I went in to get her, I discovered she'd grown even more delicious in our absence.

I'm not really missing anything all that great, being a parent. Or rather, I am missing a few of my pre-mommy indulgences, but it pales in comparison to what I'm getting.

And, anyway, the paper gets my fingers all dirty.