Playdate Politics

Muffin is a Park Sloper, so of course she has playdates. Not just kids getting together, but playdates. It’s funny how you can be annoyed by the pretension of a word, and yet still find it coming out of your mouth. Kind of like how my linguistic crusade against word “nanny” went down in flames about 2 days in.

Playdates are really more enjoyable for the caregiver than the kid, at least at 17 months old. Muffin doesn’t really interact with other kids in any way that could be called “play.” And yet it seems important to give her exposure to her peers. I plan to send her to nursery school next year, and I don’t want it to be a total shock to the system.

I read somewhere that kids can’t truly feel empathy until age 3. That means they probably won’t get the idea of sharing (I share because I’d want you to share with me) until then. And yet you attempt to lay the groundwork. It’s like talking to someone in a coma; it feels foolish and futile but you hope it’s seeping in somehow.

Muffin hasn’t learned “mine” yet. She’ll go for another kid’s toy if left unattended, but generally she seems destined to be more the grabee than the grabber. This leads to some uncomfortable moments in social situations. What to do when another kid steals her pail and shovel at the sandbox? Muffin just pouts, but doesn’t grab it back. How to handle when the other kid thinks every toy Muffin touches is more interesting than the one that she has? You can hardly blame the kid, since they aren’t really developmentally capable of more, but it’s hard to see Muffin getting hassled with every move. The most awkward situation arises when another kid shoves Muffin out of the way. I squirm for the poor parent, feebly imploring their child to be gentle and play nice, and I squirm for sweet, sensitive Muffin, who someday is going to have to grow a backbone.